A review of the new adult toy that lets you have sex with your iPad
Discreetly shaped like a flashlight, screw off canada goose deals the Canada Goose sale cap buy canada goose jacket cheap and the Canada Goose Jackets rabbit in the hat is revealed in the form of a Canada Goose online ‘fleshy’ inner sleeve, complete with orifice and ribbed inner walls.
Hmm, is that a bagel I see before me? (Picture: The Earl)
Fleshlights canada goose clearance sale are canadagooseoutleta usually shaped like a vagina, moulded on popular pornstars privates from screen queen Jenna Jameson to multiple Adult Video News winner, Tori Black.
However, I’d been sent a Fleshlight Flight, which does away with the vaginal mould and plumps for a rather odd looking orifice instead. If I’m honest, it looks rather like buy canada goose jacket a bagel.
Don’t get cheap Canada Goose me wrong, I love baked goods as much as the next man, but would you fck a cream slice? Exactly.
As for getting intimate with my iPad I’d never really considered it before.
However, I’m sure if I had, it would’ve been at the end canada goose store of a drunken night, when I’ve had Canada Goose Coats On Sale too much whiskey and she’s low on battery life; one minute we’re Googling ‘cats on ice’, the canada goose next we’re going at it like a couple of rabbits in a poacher’s sack.
I got ready for a little man on machine loving (Picture: The Earl)
As it was, I decided to get ready for the occasion as though we were going on a date taking a shower and liberally splashing on the cologne like a true gent.
There was one exception to the norm I didn’t put my clothes back on.
After a spot of prep involving lube and a towel, or foreplay as my iPad called it, I was ready for some man on machine action.
Fleshlight’s creators pride themselves on innovation. After all, this is the company who sell a shower mount (not recommended if you live with your grandma).
The big selling point of the LaunchPAD therefore is that you can watch POV porn (from the point of view of the male porn star) while thrusting in unison with the off screen hairless crotched chap essentially putting you, the viewer, right in the thick of the action and giving the impression of fcking your favourite porn star.
This is called fcking from the hips (Picture: The Earl)
Tori Black POV scene at the ready,it was time to pump some plastic. Keeping it old school, I stayed seated, lubed myself and the Fleshlight up and entered the bagel.
Now, any men of the heterosexual persuasion will concur that the point of entry is a very splendid sensation indeed it’s warm, silky smooth and sensual all at canada goose coats on sale the same time. canada goose replica It’s a feeling very particular to vaginal sex.
The Fleshlight though, is the closest I’ve ever come (no pun intended) to the same sensation without a vagina, or a woman for that matter, present in the same room.
Fully immersed, I started to fck myself with the LaunchPAD, lifting and dropping the case in unison with the man in the scene canada goose online shop as Tori Black whispered her sweet nothings (Tori says I’m very good FYI).
Mirroring the Canada Goose Online scene, when they switched to doggy style I decided to get into the swing of it and got to my feet (resisting the temptation to put one foot on my desk).
At this point I was Canada Goose Outlet still holding the LaunchPAD by the canada goose black friday sale handles if Canada Goose Parka not tactile then certainly ergonomic but rather than pulling and pushing it back and forth on to my cck, I was instead fcking from the hips.
By now I’d been going for a solid ten minutes (four times a typical solo effort) I was sweating, my thighs were burning and Tori was having a whale of a canada goose clearance time until I accidentally brushed the touchscreen and ended up listening to the dulcet tones of BBC Radio Devon.
As it happens, the news reader had canada goose coats a very affable voice canadian goose jacket but listening to an update of a sheep caught in a cattle grid has seldom done the trick for me in the bedroom.
Job done (Picture: The Earl)
Porn back on and I switched to sitting down again. This time Ms Black’s musings were too much for me to take and within a matter of minutes I’d arrived at my destination with a very intense and satisfying orgasm; half due to the length of the session and half to the novelty sensation of the Fleshlight.